Let's say that someone asked me which elective I was most interesting in taking at the high school, and I was going to write an explanatory essay on the topic.
I prewrite and come up with the following thesis:
"The class I am most eagerly anticipating in high school is auto shop: the students learn by doing, the skills that you learn are of immediate practical use, and the subject seems different and exciting compared with 'normal' school classes."
I write the rest of the essay and then for my conclusion, I follow the POSITION - SENSORY DETAIL SET - FINAL THOUGHT conclusion pattern.
"In conclusion, auto shop is one of the reasons I am most eager to move up to the high school. I can close my eyes and visualize it now: the soft, purring murmur of a well-tuned six-cylinder engine; the satisfying weight of the gleaming, gray wrench in my hands; and the delighted surprise of my parents' raised eyebrows as they peer out the fogged car windows at me confidently changing their blown tire. Auto shop will give me a chance to explore all this."
Things to notice:
1. "murmur" is personification.
2. "gleaming, gray" are two equal adjectives, so I have separated them with a comma.
3. I have three things, but did not find a way to naturally work smell into the set, the weight of the wrench introduces the tactile (touch) sense, though, so I'm still okay with it. I thought about putting in the smell of gasoline or rubber from the tire, but didn't that it would fit naturally.
4. I have written the sensory detail set as one long sentence, but that's not necessary. I only need the semi-colons in there because there are other, non-list commas.
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